SEASONS OF CHANGE
Friday, October 12, 2007
Five Reasons Why I'm CAD (crazed, anxious and depressed)
1. My new book, ICE STORM, is coming out and the print run is, shall we say, not what I would have hoped for. Shall we say, appalling? And it's the book of my heart -- one of my most favorite that I've ever written. I'm doomed.
2. My mother seems to be going downhill fast. Six months ago she was totally on top of it, independent, doing amazingly well. Now each week she seems more feeble (she's 93)
3. I have to go away again, and I miss my husband! Got a week in Ohio and then who knows how much time in Princeton with my mother.
4. My house is a mess -- like those places you see on HGTV where the rats are about to invade
5. We're stone broke.
On the other hand, I can probably come up with more than five reasons why life is good. When I'm depressed those five reasons aren't enough to kick me out of it, but I'll go for it anyway.
1. Even though ICE STORM is doomed, it's a wonderful book, and an honor to have written it. I'd rather have written that than a shitty book that makes the NYT list. Truly. (I'm not saying shitty books make the NYT. Well, some do, but most of the books that make it are wonderful).
2. My kids are doing reasonably well.
3. I don't have ovarian cancer.
4. I have the most wonderful husband in the world (32 years and counting).
5. hmmm ..... 5. .... hmmm.
I guess I am depressed. I thought I could come up with at least twenty things I'm grateful for. But right now my glass is half empty with a hole in the bottom and the water's draining out (or the champagne).
As I said, I adore my husband, but like many husbands he's a bit of an Eeyore to my Tigger. We live in Vermont, and he's always expecting blizzards and then mud season, so we now have saying in our family. "Blizzards and mud." I'm afraid it's blizzards and mud time for me, but at least I know it'll pass.
So enough about depression. Aha, I've got my number 5! They're doing a survey on favorite romance novels on All About Romance http://www.allaboutromance.com/
And maybe my books are making it into the list, which makes it a happy thing. Or maybe it's not, so I can add it to the list of things that depress me, but even so, it's a great way to get recommendations for books you haven't tried. So head on over there and vote.
So even though I'm too depressed to thrash my way out of it right now, I know it's going to pass, and I know the best way is to keep thinking about the good things.
You know, it might help if you guys told me about the things you're grateful for. But if anyone says raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens I'll puke.
(Oh, and in Vermont all the leaves are blowing down. Blizzards and mud.)
Cheer me up, why doncha? Or at least tell me what makes you happy.